I really don't like this time of year. It has been cold and raining for what seems like days and days, the sun when it does shine is setting so much earlier and I just can't figure out what happened to the summer.....then I look out into my backyard and see this tree that just a week ago had only a few red leaves mixed in with all the green one. I see the leaves beginning to accumulate at the bottom of the slide and I smile. I know that in the weeks to come that those few leaves will have multiplied and the rake will soon be out to pile the leaves as far up the slide as we can and there will be squeals of delight when Jo is all but hidden after sliding into them.
I'm going to blame the change of seasons on my lack of blogging. I just can't seem to find the creativity to really write about anything. I have a million ideas running through my mind. Maybe I'll get to typing them out soon.....
And I'm feeling like the proverbial "bag of shit". I'm not sure exactly why. *Maybe it's the anesthetic still running through my system. *Maybe it's that I still can't give Jo a full run up hug, you know the one where the child goes running straight into someone's arms. *Maybe it's because Hubby pissed me off last night because he had to follow Jo around at gymnastics for the whole 45 minutes of the class. He was however much happier when he got to watch her jump like a pencil, soldier and a star on the trampoline. *Maybe it's because we have a house full of people for meals on Sunday and Monday for a 2 day celebration of Jo's 3rd birthday and my mom's 50 something birthday (59 I think). *Maybe that the inside renos are all on hold and I wish I could be doing more. *Maybe it's the change of the seasons *Maybe most of all I think I'm starting to mourn the loss of my uterus.
I don't want another child. I'm more than happy with one and count my blessings that we were the chosen ones to raise her. All along I knew this was going to be a hard one to deal with. My fertility was taken away when I was 24 years old and here 14 years later any possibilities are now gone. I do have to look on the bright side. I won't be keeping "Always" in business anymore and won't have to worry about the arrival of my period at the worse times. But I do have to wonder, I still have my ovaries...does that mean that I will still get PMS symptoms without actually having my period? Might have to Google that one!
On a brighter note. My auctions seem to be doing well and it looks like I might have some extra spending money in October for Toronto. Hubby got a $2.00 an hour raise this week, which adds up to $4.00 per hour more in the last 6 months and roughly an extra dollar an hour when the company picked up the entire tab for our Extended Health Benefits. I'm hoping that when I get back to work that maybe I'll get a raise too. I've been there since April and I have gone into work for 2 partial days since getting home. Time will tell I guess.
I don't think there is much else to blog about today. I'm tired and should get my butt back up to the couch and just relax.....
You are tolerant, accepting, and willing to give anyone a chance. On the flip side, you're easy to read and easily influenced by others. You have a fresh perspective on life, and you can be very creative. Noconformist and nontraditional, you've never met anyone who's like you.
Inventive and artistic, you like to be a trendsetter. You have an upbeat spirit and you like almost everything. You make friends easily and often have long standing friendships. Implusive and trusting, you fall in love a little too easily.
Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul
I got out last night to do some shopping with my mom. We went to Value Village and being Tuesday it's seniors day so I managed to get myself a few things, a nightgown for Jo, a pair of jeans for Hubby to work in and some more stuff for eBay. My auctions are doing well and I'm up to a little over $100.00 in bids and I'm really hoping that they rise. Lots of hits and lots of watchers and I hope to get another bunch done today. I have 52 on the go as of today and maybe I'll get 15 or more done today. Wanna see them? Here they are. A month from today and I fly from here to Toronto for my Mom's Weekend. No kids, no hubby just a bunch of great women to shop, eat and drink with! I am considering a limo from the airport to downtown as a treat to myself and I just might swing by the train station to get SCM and we can arrive in style to our Hotel. Her and I were chatting yesterday about renting one on Saturday night to take us all out to dinner! Maybe...maybe not.
The side effects of the anesthetic are starting to show. I had some teary moments yesterday and the info from the hospital said that crying for no reason is normal. I didn't cry, but almost. The itch has started at my incision so I know that is starting to heal and it still feels weird because I can feel pressure, but not really if that makes any sense! Cutting the nerves will do that.....
Jo has been an angel with me. She climbs up on me very slowly and is very careful around me too! She sure has a tender side. She is also getting more and more excited for her birthday which is quickly approaching. My baby is going to be 3 on Monday. We are having 2 little parties for her. On Sunday we will BBQ with some friends and family and a combined birthday with my mom whose birthday is Sunday. Then on Monday we will do it again without the BBQ and have cake then too. We are down to the last few pull ups. We've told her that once she is 3 she has to wear panties to bed. I might be washing sheets every morning for a few days, but I'm hoping that's all it will take.....
I'm off to start my day! I have to wonder why it's so easy to get up this early when I have the day to everything and I have to fight to get myself up to go to work most days.....go figure!
It's hard to believe that a week ago yesterday I underwent my hysterectomy. I'm moving around pretty well considering that I have a 12 inch incision just below my belly.
On Monday morning we arrived at the hospital shortly after 6am. The emergency room was empty and we had no wait to register. All my info was taken and I was given one of those fancy hospital bracelets and another more fashionable one in hunter orange because when they asked about allergies I mentioned that I have environmental allergies like mold, dust etc... We went up to day surgery and sat with 4 or 5 other couples who were probably as nervous as I was. There was one fellow who needed to get his finger broken and reset and he didn't think it was an appropriate way to spend his birthday. I tend to agree, but after listening to his tales of drinking all weekend I can only imagine how he broke his finger in the first place. Around 7 this nice porter came and whisked us all to the 2nd floor from the 6th and had us sit in yet another waiting room. I had a great resident explain to me about the different options for pain. One was an epidural and the other was the morphine pump. I opted for the epidural. I figured this was probably my only chance to experience it seeing as how I never did give birth (LOL). I can tell you this much, I will never have anything with morphine in it again. EVER. I learned later that the epidural had morphine. I woke in recovery and was able to focus enough to breath through the feelings of nausea. I recall being taken on the stretcher to my room and when they moved me to my bed I couldn't stop the nausea anymore. I had gravol, something stronger and then something stronger again before the heaves stopped. I think that when I was "frowing up" (Jo's words) I pulled something on my right side because that is where most of my pain is.
By late Monday night they had me sitting up in bed and Tuesday morning I was given a sponge bath and put into a chair while my bed was made. I started walking the halls and by supper time I was almost mobile. Wednesday morning my nurse for the day(who also happens to be my step aunt) gave me the go ahead for a shower and removed my dressing. I had gotten the IV out the night before and I begged enough through the night that my catheter was taken out around 630am. When my Dr came in he looked me over and asked if I wanted to go home. I almost hugged the man. There is nothing better than your own bed! He told me that he left my ovaries so HRT won't have to happen and that there was no endo, but the fibroids were there and my uterus was tipped way back. He gave us the short list of do's and don'ts and before he was even off the floor hubby was there to get me. We stopped at work and I visited with everyone while he loaded up the truck for his day. When we did get home I was in pj's again and slept off and on. I was really disappointed when I walked with my nieghbour to get Jo and she didn't come running. All she wanted me to do was watch her on the swings. She is however fascinated with my incision and had been wonderful about being careful around my belly!
After my catheter came out the nurses warned me that there could be some odd colors of discharge......A long time ago, maybe around the time my brother was born(we are 25 months apart) my mom tells this story about me coming out of the bathroom with my pants full of toilet paper and I announced to her that I had my period and it was blue! She got a real chuckle when I called her last week and told her that I really did have a blue period. The dye that they used during the surgery is blue, so my urine was blue and so was the little bits of discharge too. It really hurt to laugh when I told mom this...but who knew that 30 some odd years later my childhood copying would come true!!
I went to work yesterday for a few hours. I have a great deal of respect for some of my co-workers and know how busy the middle and end of the month can be so I popped in and helped out. I figure that if I can sit here at the computer I can do the same at work. I may go in again towards the end of the week for a shorter amount of time. We'll see what the rest of the week holds. It actually felt good to put on grown up clothes (thanks SCM The Weekender Pants are too comfy), fix my hair, put on make up and talk to adults!
I've been putting some stuff up on eBay to fund my spending money for an annual girls weekend in October. So far things seem to be getting a lot of traffic so I can only hope that the traffic will bid! I am off to get somemore eBay done!
We took the trailer in tonight to have it looked at because of the water leaking on the ends. When we got home we asked Jo what happened to the trailer and she replied... "It fucking fell off" Hubby and a neighbour were busting a gut and when they stopped laughing enough to tell me I couldn't stop laughing either.
We were packed and ready on Thursday night and we arrived in Calabogie around midnight, got ourselves level and set up and were in bed by 2 I think. The first thing Jo said when she woke around 8 on Friday morning was that she wanted to go and see her Nanny Binkie. We snuck up to the house and peeked in the kitchen door to see the biggest smile on Nana's face. I think she beat us to the front door to get it open for a hug. They weren't expecting us until later on Friday so I think it was a great surprise to see us for breakfast. We had amazing weather on Friday and did a lot of visiting and relaxing. Friday night we had a bonfire complete with sparklers and spider dogs and a few beverages for the adults! Nana is doing so much better since we were there in June when she had Salmonella Poisoning. Grampa on the other hand looks to be going downhill quickly. He has lost more weight and is now walking with 2 canes and has very little patience for anything. He snapped at Jo which is not like him at all. He just doesn't "look" well to me at all. I'm not when we'll get down there again.
On Saturday K and I went to Ottawa and did some shopping. We did Ikea and then over to Bayshore to check out the Disney Store. I was disappointed that there was very little Nemo stuff at all. I hope when I go again in October in Toronto that there is more at that store. We had a great girls morning of shopping and I brought home more stuff for Hubby and Jo than I did myself, but then that's always the way. While we were out shopping Jo went "Two by Fouring" with her dad and Uncle Mike. They actually did this a few times and on Friday night they saw 2 reindeer which are actually just regular white tail deer, but why brake her heart! While they were out they got caught on a stump and Uncle had to get under the truck to fix his running board on one side. Jo baked a cake with her Nana too! She poured in the nuts and the coconut. When we got back from shopping Hubby and Uncle went fishing and we went to a Petting Zoo where Jo got to play with the goats and look at some Llamas and Peacocks. There were swings, slides and a Zip line that she wasn't overly thrilled about but we did get a few photos. Sunday we were up and gone to visit with some friends and had an awesome time! We visited some more family on Sunday night and into bed early for the big drive home today which wasn't as bad as we thought. I thought the traffic would be worse, but we made it home in about 6 hours and that includes stopping to empty the holding tanks and lunch too.
We had very little problems pulling the trailer. We did however learn that all the cupboards must be closed tight when you are traveling. You cannot imagine opening up the trailer at midnight and seeing ketchup from one end of the trailer to the other. On the way home we packed anything that could make a mess in the sink. I think when we stopped in North Bay and made supper that we forgot to close one of the top one tight. When we bought the trailer I asked if the ends would leak like the old canvas tent trailers and we were assured that they wouldn't. You can bet that I'll be printing off some pictures in the next day or two and will be taking them into the dealer we bought it from. Both ends were soaked with the rain on Saturday night. Hubby was not a happy camper(literally).
Hopefully I'll get a chance to update again this week. We have results from the Cancer Clinic for my step dad which showed another spot on his right lung that we have to wait until November now to see exactly what it is. I'll expand on that later.
Name: Northern Mom Home: Northern Ontario, Canada About Me: There isn't too much to tell. I'm Mommy to Jo, wife to Hubby. I'm the oldest of 3 siblings and 4 step siblings, Auntie to a whole bunch of kids and Great Auntie to a few as well!
I'm back to working 9-5 with no weekends or nights so keeping up with everything is a challenge! See my complete profile